Showing posts with label obscure references. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obscure references. Show all posts

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Rainy Day. :)

I feel drunk in rain
the ground seems so uncertain
Refrigerator.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Turbo Cynic

Oh my! Where have you been all of my life?!



I need to get one of these that loops this for life. Think of the blissful simplicity of being an agitated pessimistic asshole! Oh how I'd sleep at night if I didn't have the vestigial dregs of empathy or consideration.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Lil John Wears Worlds Biggest Name Tag

I heard a rumor today that Lil John had been selected to be awarded the newly coined Jackson Prize for his vast and immeasurable contributions to the art of music. And even though I may have just made that up, I think we'd all have to agree that it would be the right thing to do! Lil John is an irreplaceable national treasure. An influence on my life, showing that turrets syndrome and a smoking problem can single handily save an absurd number of songs that tragically mixed a catchy beat with lyrics that induce my dry heave response. Just when I almost comprehend what the song is talking about I find myself wondering 'what who the hell was that?' If you don't remember 'from the windows to the walls', fret not, we now have this little gem:

Patron Tequila by Paradiso Girls
(if the video stops working use this: Click Here )


As a note on the music video, I have to say that I'm disappointed. For a song sexing up alcohol poisoning and smoking weed I thought it'd have more of... you know... alcohol and weed. Instead I'm left confused and the sense I just watched a Best Buy commercial. For a song so perfectly, vividly explicit I have to wonder why they abstracted it to a wallflower sitting in a lively, bright eyed club scene. I guess this means there really is no way to make vomit smexy. Hear the bulimics? This is calling you out.

Drinking Game: take a drink whenever the guy looks like he's having a Lorelle moment OR when Lil John says anything that's not "Lets Go!", "Hey!", "What's Happening?", "Come On!", "Say What?", "Uhuh", "Hey Gurl!", or something that isn't already being sung by someone else.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Emo Crayons

As one of my many contributions to the angsty youth, I would like to market the following product:
Crayons for Emos


Your really not supposed to use all the colors, instead you let the bright ones congregate like clones over their happy fairy tale lives while you delve deep into the blackness of your soul...

OOooOOooo Dark...

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Community

I think that few things are as deeply ingrained in humanity as community. We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists living a life without ever having to compromise our values or ideals. We think that tricking ourselves into imagining such things as unchanging gives a constantly changing world viewed through a narrow peephole at least some scope of permanence. But really no one wants to be that unagreeable. No one wants to maverick that level of mavericky. It would be miserable if the world was ruled by a flock of mavericks. People want a sense of community they can contribute to. That's where my thought process has been going recently.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Dirty Laundry

My room never seems to clean itself. That's a problem...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Munchkin Basics



As a present to me I got the Munchkin card game. It's technically a spoof of D&D, but it has enough random humor that even someone like me (who has never played D&D) to thoroughly enjoy it! Here's a low down of the rules, it's pretty simple once you get the flow chart.

To start: each player gets 2 Door cards and 2 Treasure Cards. Any Race and or Class cards can be played. A player with no race is considered ‘Human’. Then each player can play Item cards by placing them face up in front of them. All players start at Level 1; the game is over when a player wins by reaching Level 10. Each time you Kill a Monster on your turn, or sell 1,000 gold worth of Items during your turn, you go up 1 Level.

Race: you can only have one race in play. You can discard your race from play at any time (even in combat).

Class: you can only have one class in play. You can discard your class from play at any time (even in combat). Most Class cards have special abilities that require you to discard, you can discard any card you have played or in your hand to power this ability.

Item: Each Item has a name, power, size, and a value in gold pieces. When you play an item in front of you it is being ‘carried’. You can carry any number of small items, but only 1 ‘Big Item’; any item not termed big is considered small. Anyone can carry items, but some items have restrictions on their use, Items being carried but not being used are turned sideways to show they are not in use.
Each person can only use one ‘headgear’, one ‘suit of armor’, one ‘footgear’, and two ‘hand’ items at a time; ‘Two Hands’ items require both hands.
During your turn, as many times as you want, you can discard items whose value is worth at least 1,000 gold pieces (you don’t get change back) and go up one level.

Treasure cards can be played to the table as you get them or during your turn. Any one-shot (‘useable once only’) time can be played during any combat, whether you have it in your hand or on the table.

Curse! If drawn face up during ‘Open a Door’, they apply to the person who drew them. Otherwise they can be played at any player at any time. The Curse has it’s effect and then is discarded unless it’s effect is continuous (like ‘Chicken on Your Head’); continuous curses stay in play until something destroys the curse.

Players may trade Items, but not cards, at any time they are not in combat. Traded Items stay in play but change ownership, remember: you can’t sell items until it’s your turn!

When Cards contradict the rules, follow the cards.

YOUR TURN:

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Harry Potter

I was at work today pushing a credit card through the machine when I noticed this little old lady had been starring dead center at me for the past minute. It was a little weird. She finally blurt out "You look just like my grandson!" After a short period of time she added, "My grandson looks just like that young boy who plays Harry Potter!" I remained quiet and confused even after she finnally sumerized her logic with "You look just like Harry Potter!"

Thank you?
I'm still not sure what to make of this...

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Spores


Spore could be one of the most addicting games I've played in a long time. Make crazy creatures? Guide them through life times? Share the universe with creatures your friends create? I wonder when sim games become recognized as a psychological condition.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Bluifrog


I decided to cheat again and code a shiny Politoad with Water Absorb. There's really not much of a point; it's not much of a contender in the 'Bulky Water' category. The only thing it fits with is a Water Absorb-Surf 2vs2 team. I outfitted it with Hyper Voice and Bounce for the novelty of having a frog Pokemon. After I level it up it'll know Perish Song, which is another option.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Pokeball... GO!


A friend sent this to me a while back, I thought it was the greatest thing ever.