That's what I'm hoping I won't be saying next week. Why would I think that? Because I'm about to utilize A&M's (probably much under-utilized) counseling services. I'm not being forced against my will or anything. I've never really liked the idea of talking about feelings to strangers before, but I've sometimes wondered if it could help. I don't feel like I'm about to have a mental break down or anything; in other words I don't feel explicitly vulnerable, but at the same time I'm recognizing a little bit of stress stirring up pensive lethargy in my semester so far... so assuming all this cockamamie works, I stand to get some real benefit from it. It's a free service, so I figure why not. Also it'll give me something to blog about.
I should probably commit to being disappointed by writing down my expectations for this: I'm hoping that I can be given someone who will listen with my problems and concerns and give me back perspective and alternative options for how to overcome the walls I keep stumbling over, using the university's other facilities as a platform to lead off from.
So follow me along on a magical journey, as I sign up at the Student Counseling Center: I called in and was directed to open up a registration file online based off the UIN. The website services were listed. I guess they made divisions, but overall it came off as being pretty vague. It didn't tell me who I would be talking with, I was disappointed that I wasn't bludgeoned with notifications that my privacy would be protected in this service. (That's something I'd kind of like to be bludgeoned with)
From there I had to enter some basic information about me. Apparently scholastic probation can require some people to go to this thing. If this service is what I think it is, I have to wonder why I wasn't put on it when I was struggling in my various majors... but I'm getting ahead of myself. We don't know how effective this is going to be yet. Maybe it's a waste of time.
I'm treated to a long list of common sources of stress and I have to mark all the ones that I feel have stressed my life in the past 2 weeks and to what extent. I can see how a lot of them overlap... some are really vague (like 'Depression' and 'Decision Making') and some are really explicit ('Conflict with Parents on Career Choice' and 'Reading/Comprehending Textbooks'). The one that really caught my eye going down was 'Math Anxiety', but if I were to begin to give my opinion of the (College Station) A&M Math Department, we'd get way off track. There were so many things listed I had a hard time keeping them all relative. I ended up just marking the ones I though applied to me first and then went back to determine the severity. I picked 'Academics/Coursework/Grades', 'Anxiety/Fear/Nervousness', 'Finding Occupational Information', 'Dating Concerns' and a few others. I feel like I sound like a crack head when I list them out like that, but trust me I feel better already passing over all the ones I didn't feel stressed by. See! Already I feel more sane and competent! Success!
From there I had to enter in short sentences why I wanted to use the service and the likely hood I felt like counseling would help (I guess that one is to catch those sent by advisors?). Then I had to identify and rank the severity of feelings, like I did above. Like I said, most of this is is pretty basic, unexciting, and largely preemptive (Anxiety again?) After that I had to do the same with a list of strengths (I think I'm 'moderately' good at 'coping with stress' and I have a 'good sense of humor'). Wow, and now I'm feeling even more capable! It's like they channeled everything additive about preteen online quizzes! (Hmmm, I don't know what Harry Potter character I am...)
With that done, it was on to what looked like a near to last page: lots of confidentiality stuff. (So it is in there after all!) It also asked if they were allowed to record sessions on audio or video... it recommended allowing recording for better counseling options; I don't really have a problem with that sort of thing... although I still don't understand why that would make a difference. After that it brought up a list of open appointment times, the earliest being this Friday and the latest being 2 weeks away. I got an early Friday appointment and that's all there was to it.
We'll see how this all goes. Hopefully this is an opportunity to be even more impressed with my university.
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