Magic: The Gathering Summer '09

Magic: The Gathering is a collectable card game I've played off and since high school. In it, players that turns playing land and spell cards from their hand generated from their randomized deck. The decks themselves are assembled ahead of time from their owner's collection, making each one unique and customized around each player's style.

Magic is an old game compared to its competitors. It's the original collectable card game, owning the patient on all 'collectable card games where decks are shuffled to randomize the outcome' (paraphrased). Through its management and development I think there's a lot that can be discussed. It has come to exemplify the struggles in the general facets of a game and also as a business. I've slowly drifted away from the game in the past year or so, but recently its gone through a major rule update and released new products on the market. I've decided to update in the a miniseries over the next couple of days, referencing Magic.

Articles:
Magic 2010 Rules Change
Running Games and Power Creep
Card Value and Rarity
Balancing Flavor and Clarity in Logic Powered Games
THe Online Digital Card Game
Digital Rendering of Real-Life Logic Games
Magic: The Gathering, Duels of the Planeswalkers ~ Review

Education. This Helps Me?

I'm very much looking forward to the classes leveled at me this upcoming Fall semester. The class I'm currently enrolled in is not only not interesting to me, but I spend a fair amount of time wondering 'why the hell do I care about this again'. I know I'm not alone. I've heard everyone and their mother complain in just that manner while attending classes. On level I understand that some classes aren't popular with the majority of people, but at the same time I realize that the reason certain classes aren't interesting is because I actually know that I will never use the information I'm being taught in the class ever again.

I might be the anomaly, because I've painstakingly staked out college with the intention that whatever the hell I graduate with, I will heavily rely on in my career. What the hell is the point in going to a reputable school like A&M if I'm going to graduate with a 'worldly understanding' about some crap that at best half relates to anything I ever do again. I'm not a education history type person, but I get the feeling that maybe this 'generic' class structure is the result of college education becoming so mainstream for everyone. I literally feel like I'm in a bigger high school sometimes in certain classes. I feel like I should eek by, make a passing grade, and then forget everything I ever heard or thought of in that class because I'll need that brain space for slightly more functional things, such as the miles I'm supposed to get my oil changed and fun trivia I hear off TV game shows.

I think it would be more constructive to make classes less broadly structured and more specialized. I don't really see the point in ever taking a statistics class, for instance, if I'm not a Math major. Even though I'm in Anthropology and therefore stand a good chance of someday using statistics in someway eventually, I feel like I would have to call up a statistical expert for guidance anyway, just to be sure. Going with the example of statistics, I think it would be more productive if they integrated several components from both statistics and anthropology into a class that focused exclusively on the issues pertinent to statistics in anthropological studies and experiments.

Curfew

In spite of all the good intentions I have when I say 'well I want to go to bed earlier tonight', it never seems to happen. It's tiring to get back home at 3 or 4 am and then slowly wind down to go to sleep. And it's really annoying to end up sleeping in as a result. So I'm putting a 'be home at 11:00 pm' curfew alarm on my phone and 'be asleep by 12:00' on me until further notice. Obviously the nights I close Sweets are the exception.

Driver's Seat

When I'm driving I'm always paranoid about hitting a pedestrian. I end up imagining that some small child or stupid person wearing all black at night is trying to get themselves run over and killed as part of some malicious scheme (I didn't say it was a smart malicious scheme).

The center of the conflict comes from a weird place though. I would just rather not kill anything I'm not going to eat.

Kitten Kettle

Once again to break up the monotony. Patches Bristol McGee poses here in the evening. Tell her she looks radiant, seeing as how she's become touchy and insecure about being a huge, fat, pear shaped kitten in the prime of her teen years. We all need to be considerate of the adorable fat hoe's feelings.


By the way this entry can substitute in for a critical look at how modern society identifies and reacts to female teenage sexual activity. (Remember: spay and neuter your children, as the above critical look distantly equated children with pets).

At the 'Fire David Letterman' Rally

At the 'Fire David Letterman' Rally is a short video posted onto the New York magazine website, credited to Jonah Green. The internet is a massive network, full of amusing clips featuring grown men getting racked in the balls and skateboarding dogs. However, At the 'Fire David Letterman' Rally manages to deliver a punch straight to the funny bone.

Following the wake of a misdirected joke in which Letterman said Palin's daughter was knocked up while attending a baseball game, obviously targeting Bristle Palin and unaware that she attended the game with her younger 14 year old daughter, Palin released an official statement full of her infamous political professionalism accented with a hint of the technological savviness that make her the wet dream of any conservative under the age of 28: she updated her Facebook page, oh and boy she has sass!! (on her Facebook page)



At the 'Fire David Letterman' Rally is the laugh out loud comedy of the year. What begins as a somewhat serious rally featuring angry and concerned people becomes a light hearted jest about how stupid people spend their free time. In the first 20 seconds, we are given the startling news that a issue of great importance is taking place. People hold signs saying 'Sex Offender' and condemning CBS. A woman informs the camera that EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY IS VERY VERY FRUSTRATED AND UPSET. On my first watch I was amazed to find that yet another major national crisis had slipped past my radar. Following her, several other activists voice their concern. A woman with big glasses gives us context clues as what schmuck means in jewish, but the real punch line is when the college looking kid says he doesn't watch any TV other than Fox News. That line ends the set up and from here it's pure comedy!

What's the one thing more hilarious than two disagreeing people yelling at each other? Two people who agree yelling at each other! Big Glasses deafly yells her agreements at another supporter trying to yell at other people. He flickers between trying to ignore her and pausing to consider telling her to shut the hell up. What the fuck is that big oversized paper thing? You know what we need at more street rallies? Fine print.

The next item apparently discussed is Letterman's own family life. A much calmer voice tries to be decent; apparently he has a son out of wedlock. And apparently that means something here? The woman speaking as EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY is back to inform us that really its a daughter; you can tell how in-tune she is with everyone in the country, its the only reason she was voted spokeswoman for the American public. I'm a little confused about whether Letterman has a son out of wedlock or a daughter (possibly both or a single child transitioning between genders, who the hell can tell with this crowd), but fortunately Big Glasses comes back to set the record straight, reprising her role as the Palin-Fangirl Sass Attacker. BASTARD SON!! SLUT FOR A WIFE! I love it when you talk dirty about Letterman's family to me...
(call me)

Just when you wrote him off an an insignificant moron that yells at the crowd, the indecisive do-I-ignore-or-slap-her guy is back to interact with the normal people going about their daily life. He appears worldly as he discusses the weak points of socialism (ITS EVIL!!!). A woman wearing a pink shirt tries to communicate using her inside voice (dumb bitch. WE NEED MORE YELLING), but Indecisive Guy slams her fragment of an argument with maturity of a 12 year old girl who owns the Spice Girl movie: the 'Oh No You Did'ent' finger wave and snap! Oh yes he did. Go away pink shirt lady, you just got served!

Effeminate backtalk dating to old school 1993, although hilarious and totally appropriate, detracts from the situation. Some red bearded guy takes control and refocuses everyone on what's truly important, yelling "enough is enough" he holds up a 'I'm a Right Wing Lunatic' poster. Good thing too. I almost didn't realize who I was watching. Back on track with tangets, Big Glasses tells us that her economics degree has the answer to our world enconomy crisis: we need to close down our boarders for 20 years and 'clean our own house' (I assume she means that we should collect all the spare change to be found under the sofa).

Okay, so some people have drifted off topic. I can picture someone in the center of the rally saying "I forgot, why the hell are we rallying outside of Letterman's studio again?" Luckily, at least one person remembers why they're there and she seeks to unite them once again! "KEEP CHILDREN SAFE FROM DAVID LETTERMAN'S MOUTH! HE WILL RAPE THEM WITH HIS MOUTH!" That's right! I almost forgot! Letterman is a pedophile (why not)! It totally slipped my mind! I guess I'll have to grab my torch and pitchfork and riot to the streets... unless I get distracted by drunk guys pretending to make out... ... ... OhSnap! Lady, do not look directly behind you! (I guess the policeman likes to watch?) I sure hope the guy who only watches Fox News doesn't turn around, or they'll rape his eyes with their tongues! Typically you would need to maturity of a teenager to handle that kind of PG 13 action, these protesters would be scared for life.

I rate this 4 out of 5 (Internet) Movie Ferrets.

Remember kids, if you want to be a professional grownup, post your injustices on to your Facebook page.

A Critical View of the Eastern European Trade in the 14th Century and its Relevance to the Modern World

I apologize for my blog in the past week. I have failed to deliver short mildly entertaining snippets and instead have had several entries in a row that are all deep and shit. This blog is called Basically Bland, not Possibly Pretentious; I need to stay true to its heritage. You know what's not pretentious though? Fuzz-butts. Awwww.

Ferrets are so far from anything close to deep, soul searching or critical thinking.

Relationships

Relationships sure are tricky. Especially romantic relationships. Society today puts a high value on them, but at the same time doesn't exactly define what they're good for. Some say its about property, kids, God, or never ending love, but these all fail as even general catch all definitions.

By far, the most popular definition of a successful relationship is eternal looove. While desirable, it ultimately turns for an idea to live for into an ideal that marks failure. When you try to implement 'eternal' anything for the sake of a constant never ending presence, you get an inevitable life span race; here, a romantic relationship is really seen as a success only when one of the pair croaks. If two people are romantically involved and don't separate until they die, it's a success. If two people are romantically involved and separate due to living conditions, the relationship is a failure. Most people would agree with the above if they blindly subscribe to the idea eternal romance. As examples of success and failure, the above examples are as clear cut as they come, the trade scenarios.

Develop that logic further, and one can begin to encounter less complete social solidarity and can even risk cognitive dissonance. By this logic, if two people are romantic, and one partner is abusive to the other but they stay together regardless until the abused commits suicide, that relationship is a success! If a couple stays together for a period of time and then calmly separates because they both find they don't love each other romantically like they used to anymore, then their relationship is an utter failure despite a lack of any injury.

If a young couple gets married and one partner dies a week later in a car accident? SUCCESS! What if an middle aged couple finds they've drifted apart after marrying young and then decided to separate? The 10-15 years of 'successful-not-dead-yet' relationship time are null and void as FAILURE.

I think its ridiculous to go out looking to make romantic relationships only worth something if they haven't been proven to end yet (or treating Death as a gold star to put on your relationship resume). People enter into relationships because they feel like they get something from them; if both people find themselves happy and their lives are enriched by having experienced that relationship, then I would say that it was a success (even if people didn't die soon enough to make it popularly official). I might be naive and immature, but I look for relationships as a boon for personal growth than a 'lets keep this thing chugging for the sake of officialdom' GigaPet. No one really liked GigaPets. They got annoying.

Ramble Elderly

When I think of growing old, I'm always filled with a mixture of eagerness and dread. I think of all the time I have left; all the things I want to do and all the experiences waiting to happen. It makes me want to simultaneously sit down and study for everything and jump up, run around flailing in excitement. I also look at the slow drawn out death a lot of elderly people are doomed to. Moving gets painful, the mind and memories become endangered, and various systems just get worn out. It makes me want to sulk in my room and not venture outside for fear of incurring injury, wear, and tear.

Although people die in a multitude of ways, more commonly now it's not a digital switch. There isn't a stark line between vibrant life and resting death. Thanks to modern technology a new class has emerged, allowing many to slowly settle into more of a 'vibrant death'.

When I was younger, I looked at modern medicine as a way to prolong life, and certainly it does. But it's not the yellow brick road to immortality I once imagined it to be. I would argue that in spite of any level of technological advancement it won't ever be anything more than a delay of the inevitable. One might say its because of the way modern medicine markets itself (more endures than cures, if I might rhyme). I could even believe that on a subconscious level, no one really wants to live forever. I think its misleading to think of life continuing equally and indefinitely until pronounced dead. It belittles the opportunities of the present day to assume a person will always be capable of doing whatever they want.

I firmly believe that the quality of life cannot be guaranteed simply by pretending there's infinite sand in the hour glass and deluding yourself that there will always be more time for things later. Rather each advancement should be seen as birthing opportunities instead of delaying death. Nursing homes are proof enough that an EEG doesn't guarantee a person is still living.

Giving Kids an Edge

Television and books for kids today feels different than I remember. Starting in late elementary school, I began reading what became the most influential book series for my teen years. Don't laugh. Animorphs.
Animorphs had everything a preteen kid could want in a book series. It had action, violence, imagination, and most importantly, a heaping dose of angst. I was drawn into the series for its casual dialogue, cookie cutter drama, and it's descriptions of kids transforming into animals to fight evil aliens (seriously how cool is that?). Unlike many other similar kids series however, a gradually changing mood coursed of all 50-something books, lending an immense amount of depth to the series as a whole. What I remember most about Animorphs now is that it was the first story whose ending utterly disgusted me when I read it. It was well written, pertinent to wrapping up the story, and it single-handedly destroyed every single one of the characters I grew up loving.

With its ending, Animorphs became the first story I was completely engaged in that ended on the complete opposite side of where I wanted it to end. It would probably be melodramatic to say that was my moment of disillusionment, but certainly it was the first story that ended with a jarring outside-the-story-book-world message. Six kids manage to uphold their friendships and moral ideals when united by a common goal as a guerrilla force focused on surviving the war until help can arrive. But a war of difficult, mind breaking decisions takes its toll when the time comes to finally end it; the aftermath leaving the survivors detached and unfucntionable in the world they save. Lately I looked at what is marketed to kids of the same age and I don't see anything comparable to my old Animorphs.

Is society drifting away from harsh "reality" themes for more pleasing cultural ideals or am I just too distant from what kids are reading? I'm optimistically inclined to think the later, but realistically I think probably both.

Nintendo Fitness.

Nintendo unveiled an upgrade to it's WiiFit product, which was put on the market just a short year and a half ago. Rather than being a lone incident, I would say that the prevalence of similar games show that actual physical fitness is something doomed to be further integrated in video game culture. Video Games originated with black and white pixels that came with explanations. That triangle, well that's a space ship; those blocky things? Those are asteroids. It's since progressed into an enveloping 3D immersion of simulated life and stories. Realistic graphics and physics marketed to sell do nothing but invite players with a breif glimpse a better life. Sandbox RPGs especially, with stunning graphics and customizable human characters as the perfection of humanity are the crux of the industry rising to meet consumer's demands of personal perfection. It only makes sense that the next step players finding themselves wondering is how to translate this utter bliss into their real life. Visiting the zoo and looking at happiness though shatter proof glass just isn't enough anymore.

Nintendo in particular has begun to answer this call. The WiiFit was advertised to be an entertainment game that would direct physical fitness novices toward a healthier and assumeidly more fulfilling lifestyle. I say 'advertise' because much like all other forms of exercise equipment, the Wiifit more often than not fails in itself to make any real changes in the lives of it's buyers. Once the novelty wears off, it lays dusted over and forgotten tucked under the TV. In spite of this failure the market still exists and Nintendo keeps trying to reach out and satisfy the desires of a video crowd no longer content to play in a virtual world at the expense of their physical real world existence.

Wiifit, My Weight Loss Coach, and My Fitness Coach are only early iterations of what could be a passing trend, but I what I think is more likely the next evolution of video games. The Wiifit is getting a new iteration, the Wiifit Plus and even the upcoming Pokmeon games age getting in on the act; HeartGold and SoulSilver, which will come with a separate pedometer into which a single Pocket Monster can be loaded into and trained by the steps you take outside in the real world. I have to say that I approve of this shift. The video game market presents the unique opportunity to allow much of the hardware necessary for light exercise and information to be largely available; the software can be easily distributed. Perhaps most importantly the market is already willing to try out such trends so long as they promise an enjoyable experience. Playing with a balance board or 'walking' Pokemon peripherals aren't going to single handily end the obesity epidemic, but I see nothing but positive outcomes for expanding and developing this market.

After spending nearly a year with the first WiiFit, I can see a future iteration of the Wiifit being successful as a fun and interactive daily guide towards more physical fitness in the lives of Americans. But only if it changes to meet additional criteria. At the top of the list of things to change is putting in a more accurate evaluation system. Currently the Wiifit bases it's judgment of Obese, Overweight, Normal, Underweight, etc off of the user's BMI; it compares an ideal weight to height and does not consider normal proportioned more skinny or thicker body types as acceptable. Automatically this discourages a large proportion of users. No matter how effectively they implement their workout, their healthy weight can be deemed by the system as inappropriate. This system does not encourage prolonged use. Also, the Wiifit sacrifices the customization one might expect from a video game marketed as 'fun' for a one size fits all, unchanging screen from which one can select individual workouts. A future system needs the ability to create, save, and track full workouts instead of relying the user to make up a new one at every use. Lastly, the Wiifit fails to take advantage of the other huge difference between a modern console game and a Bowflex (or other infomercial machine): connectivity.

If there's one thing that discourages people most while seeking fitness its the lonely discouragement of thinking you're the odd man out. The thing is though, is that most everyone is the the odd man out. The odd mans out is the majority. If users who don't have the metabolism and genetics to become a Greek God (or Goddess... ladies...) only knew just how unashamed they should be, who knows some of them might actually enjoy a little exercise. The Wiifit made a halfhearted effort in this direction by showing all the users on a single Wii on the home screen with graphs marking weight losses and gains, but this mock attempt fails to connect people as needed for encouragement and instead just leads to envy. I'd like to see a friend system established, allowing you to send compliments to online friends for fulfilling their weight goals or at least some regional averages to showing realistic expectations; the other people rowing in your boat.

We're All Victims Apparently...

I get tired of watching TV. It's not because of commercials; no for every racial minority McDonalds hires to sing their jingle in an obvious effort to appear more urban-hip, Sonic or Skittles gives me something not half bad. No, I get tired of watching TV because in a misguided effort to pretend to be informed I turn to the talking heads of 'newsish' TV.

Let me say that I'm not an intellectual. I don't have the attention span to cannnnnndy. I don't have the attention span to actually keep up with on going stories for long enough periods of time to really feel like I understand them completely. Instead I more or less wade through the wide diversity of pressing issues I'm presented with in the news as though someone asked me for my gut-uninformed-opinion. Everything from 'obesity is a growing problem' to the endless, bloody civil war in Shrilanka is categorized in vague pigeon holes between 'Duh!' and 'I feel like watching Peanut Butter more often'.

I get sick and tired of everyone on TV claiming they're the victim. There are victims of poverty, victims of murder, and one could even extend that to larger minorities such as gays, blacks, and black gays. The loudest whiners though don't belong to any minority group; the spokesperson for the majority keeps using its more widespread sympathy and influence to whine the most nail-grating temper tantrum imaginable. It's so ridiculous that large empowered groups of people holding the majority over spans of the US are somehow being kept under the thumb of the (little) man. Christianity, the most popular(ly crazy) religion in the US is now being attacked by the gays. The new supreme court appointment was an affirmative action pick to persecute the often down trodden white male American. This is all so ridiculous. The only thing more ridiculous is the fact that people actually start believing it all. The last time I went home all I heard about was the travesty of Mz California losing her right of free speech.

'it's a sign of how we are all losing our rights to stand up for beliefs'
It's depressing when the adults around here act really stupid.

lowl catz

Tracy came back to the apartment today! Patches McGee, the resident preteen female came back with looking a little heavier. It's a real life Bristle-Levi romance here at the apartment now. Patches is preggers, proving once and for all that supervision-abstinence is not the best way to stop teenage cat pregnancy. No the number one way to avoid teenage cat pregnancy is not to teenage cats. Howard Benson doesn't seem to concern himself with his future of be a teenage cat dad, and unfortunately Patches is the victim of a society that praises him for his conquests and frowns upon her poor teenage cat choices.

In her defense, after receiving Tracy's cat abstinence only education, she did try to compromise and consented to infertile and potentially dangerous alternative sex practices. Unfortunately, with their minimal knowledge of anatomy they collectively were unable to know exactly what they were supposed to avoid doing.

Back

I'm finally starting to settle into A&M classes again. I keep feeling paranoid walking around campus and talking to people. I feel like people will realize I sneaked back in and assemble a huge mob to oust me.

Hair Cuts

I decided to finally bite the bullet and get a hair cut. Hair is annoying. It keeps on growing long after you want it to stop. It's like a never ending war you can't win; like fighting a tide trying to drag you out to an ocean of being a dirty hippie. That goes doubly for facial hair. I scouted by the cheapest place I know of in town, on the look out for a certain someone who I distinctly remembered being unable to follow simple instructions and turning my head into a palm tree. I like Counting Crows, but I whole heartedly entrust Adam's unique hair style to him. I don't need any part of it rooted into my scalp.

Despite my best efforts though the exact same lady appeared out of nowhere and called me up for the deed. After the initial 'F me' moment I was impressed that she actually did a decent job, remembering (or reading in the database) everything I told her to do the time before, only this time I liked it. I think that she remembered me as that difficult guy who left her no tip, because just before I got up to go pay she stopped for an awkward serious moment and she said 'we value your business.'

There is nothing scarier than someone I don't know remembering me.