Lawl Nighter

I was conned into an all nighter by social forces beyond my control and subsequently I had to go to work at 9:00 in the morning. I was, in a word, a zombie. My eyes kept fluttering closed and I couldn't stand up straight. I also had the memory of a goldfish ("Ok Shinny Cafe Latte with Vanilla... wait, what did you order?") I honestly didn't think I'd make it through the day, but then I passed out for a brief 10 or 15 seconds. The good news is that when I regained consciousness, I perked right up. After my little shut down and reboot, I turned right around to face a young couple giving me the ole fish-eye. And then I turned back around because I suddenly remembered I made their drinks wrong.

Seven Pounds, Four Christmases

This Christmas movie season is pretty awkward. Every year my family goes to see a movie with our neighbors and this year was no exception. Unfortunately, this year had pretty slim pickings. Everyone had already seen Four Christmases, a basic, likable holiday movie, and in the aftermath we were left with the following options. Marly and Me, was shot down as it was basically a chick-flick with a dog tagged on. Likewise the film critic of the family didn't want to see the 'kids movie' Bedtime Stories. The ending result was a toss up between Seven Pounds and Valkerie (exit sarcasm). Whose idea was it to have these movies open on Christmas Day?! Seven Pounds was depressing, although I guess it was about giving... but seriously, Valkerie?! Who in their right mind said, "Oh yeah, Christmas Day, we need to give the people what they want: a movie with Adolf Hitler wit Tom Cruise acting!" I didn't get the chance to see it, but I'd guess that the holiday movie this year is a toss up with seeing Four Christmases again and Bedtime Stories.

Morin

Not to brag, but apparently I'm now famous for my amazing dishwashing skills are Sweets. Those six years I spent in a kitchen cleaning monastery sure did pay off! No cheese on my plates, no spots on my forks, and most importantly no rings on my glasses! Although, despite my now almost weekly praise by my fellow staff members and management, no one has asked to train under my dishpan-hand-wings (my secret: rub with sponge, rinse with water, add soap, and run the dishwasher). Anyway, I'm just glad that I truly do have the admiration and dishwashing respect of my fellow coworkers and this isn't just some ploy to stick me with the grossest, most secluded job come closing time.

ReFit

For some reason, Nintendo has decided to remarket the WiiFit as an entirely new product. They're advertising it now more than they ever did when it was released. Holiday magic indeed... time traveling magic! I actually found a couple of sites the other day that had compilations of WiiFit spoof videos and was excited to find that the Sydney Series video Shelly and I made a while back was on the list!

Half Noble

A certain someone is still hoarding a beloved Dan Savage book I continuously try to force upon people, so I spent the morning stalking in as many Barnes & Noble and Half-Priced Book stores as I could looking for another copy (eventually giving me double the loaning power). I was disappointed to find that no book store devotes more than 3 shelf sections to gay books, and of those shelves the vast majority are smutty story compilations. I don't see Cherokee book-porn in the Native American section one foot over and 'Women Studies' doesn't harbor dirty picture books or biographies of porn stars. Let's be clear, I have no problems picking up gay books, but a blatant wall of smut in public makes me uneasy. And really... 'Best Gay Stories' 06, 07, 08 are all sub par at best.

thanks for giving

I was at work the other day when a guy came up wanting to take my picture for a newspapers 'why are you smiling' section. He said it was supposed to run around Thanksgiving. (If anyone knows exactly what paper does that or if they actually used my picture, let me know) For the quote I tried to think of something honest and not too corny. The theme was supposed to be Thanksgiving, so for the 'why are you smiling' caption, I said 'I'm thankful that my family puts up with me'.

I Mac

My computer with it's awesome super power to use iMovie and not run Windows Vista, it finally returned! That carnival Gypsy said this day would come to pass! At long last I can play iTunes in my room, charge my iPod, update LiveJournal in less than an hour, and (hopefully) finish my cartoon without risking blowing a fuse out of Vista Virus. Woots go 'round for all!!

say anything

I really don't have the opinions to fill a blog with something relevant everyday. It just doesn't work like that. I do have the capacity to waste time without end and fill space... There are several moles in the world on Webster's fantasical embelishment. A reflection of the economy shows a dire situation in which there can be little candy on the global market, save China, a country known to use lead. That's all I have to say on that. Don't get it? It's a metaphor! Just like saying that adults try to pretend that babies come from Kansas.

Sydney is Popular-ish

Haba Ko

I would say that it's a safe bet that we all have things we wish we could do. Not something overly insane like fly or developing telekenetic powers to knock inconvenient people off of bridges into the un-dangerous water below, but rather accomplish little things like creating custom web skins, writing some worthwhile music on the side, drawing a cartoon, or updating a simple blog every day. Think about the little simple things that really don't affect the world in a huge way, but would still leave with you a sense of ego or accomplishment. When we're busy we never have the time for them, and when we have the time it feels like we have to rest from back when we were busy... even if that resting to end up a little prolonged. Sometimes I wonder about the purpose of those things. Are they a calling to actually try to do something that will be worthwhile in a big picture, in some inconceivable way? They could just as easily be small realistic fantasies that we can endlessly and happily work towards while lacking the drive to actually complete. Hmmm, food for thought. I'm going to spend some time and chew it over like a slice of Tracy's overly cheesey stuffed crust pizza.

(Cat Tax)

Happy John Gets a Cake Day

I can't believe I forgot my own holiday! My first semester in college, and every subsequent year after, I've hit a huge slump around this time in October. It just generally sucks. So I decided to make up a holiday as an excuse to pull me through. Originally there were rules to Happy John Gets A Cake Day, I had to complete a list of things, the last of which was to get a cake and enjoy it around people. That theme still remains most central and after the great Happy John Gets A Cake Day reform of 2005, pretty much anyone can celebrate (even if their name isn't John). Also the list of activities is more or less lost to time and 'friends only' locks on old live journals and is therefore rendered unimportant.

I am so surprised it came and went! I thought it was this Thursday (as that was the week day it originally fell on). In fact this is the first time in four years that I've forgotten Happy John Gets A Cake Day comes every October 12th. I feel the need to go buy a cake, or something.

So everyone, Happy Belated Happy John Gets a Cake Day Day!

Ko

In the game of Go stalemate areas give way to annoying the side game of distraction called the Ko battle. Do I spend my turn filling it? Is there somewhere else they don't want me to play? AH! Why did they play there? Damn it! It's all going horribly wrong! Stop doing things!
Trying to juggle doing several things at once gets to be painful once time constraints come into the equation. That's why Go is a game of simultaneous theft and charity.

Damn Ko!

Ilk

In an attempt to attract more attention to me I've decided to emulate Bounce. Over the past day and a half I've gone through half a gallon of milk. It hasn't yielded any new found popularity, so I may take to yowling insistently when I see people doing things.

Post Prone

I find it annoying when professors post pone tests the day of. Don't they know what trouble that causes?! I spend all night writing essays I've procrastinated on just to walk into class and have her spill all the answers! I spent this morning in a panic trying to read the book because I thought I'd have to quickly memorize information only to find out that she has just as poor planning as me. Come on woman! Set a better example for the kids!

Bounce

A certain butter-ball has started constantly harassing me whenever I go into the kitchen. I tried to pick him up today and went into desperate escape mode and grappled onto... me... through my shirt and into my f'n skin. FU Bounce! Fine I always like Nala better anyways!

I hope you cry when you read my blog!

mes

Tracy and Justin don't appreciate me leaving my computer out in the living room so I can do homework and take care of important business. It's not like I can do that stuff in my room! It's messy in there! The insensitivity I have to live with!

Street Walkin Yall

I've been eating more food than usual in a vain attempt to gain weight, although all it does is make me more hyper and impulsive. Like today I got angry at the stupid bus system for leaving me twice in a row after I spent an hour running around getting into classes I needed to be in, so I left that bitch like it wanted child support and started walking home yall. I made it about half way from Blinn when a car pulled up next to me down on Texas and then Liz started yelling at me to get in the car. I assumed she needed my assistance for a bank heist and so I jumped in. Turns out she just wanted to use me as an excuse to meet her friend late for lunch. She refused to let me rob a bank on the ride back to Gateway.

Dullards

At work one of my associates dropped a box of martini mix flavored after 'Spiced Apples'. Our whole department smelled like deliciousness and I was inspired to buy one of each of the remaining flavors at the end of my shift (and I've never even had an alcoholic martini). I think we could see so much stuff if we just broke those kinds of things more often. Chocolate Peppermint and Spiced Apple mix: spoils of labor!

WiiAngry

A certain someone keeps pushing me off the WiiFit while I'm doing very important exercises. How am I supposed to become WiiSex incarnate when this hoodlum tickling me on side planks and kicking me on leg extensions?! That certain someone is a poopieface and a jerk. X0

Sasses

School starts tomorrow! Over that last couple of semesters I've noticed a trend: I do very badly in a class where I miss the first day. I'm not sure exactly why that is but regardless of any effort I put in, missing that first day in a class equals D. It's letter math. The kicker for this semester though is that I'm still not signed up for classes!

A Poem to This

I work in a magical land of enchantment. I spend my whole week in a place where I have to stand up and not do much. "Son of a Sailor" loops a ridiculous number of times. My feet always hurt and people inside and outside the company find ways to yell at me all day long. My work experience does not help me further myself to another job. Retail. Hmmm. This is teh sux.

Wii Demean!!

The WiiFit is one of the move bizarre games ever. It gets you hooked by insulting your body image relentlessly... and then keeps you coming back out of sheer vanity. You step on and it turns your normal looking Mii into either a twig or a snakebite victim and then gives you mindless tasks to complete, making a graph dedicated entirely to your weight and balance. The WiiFit is a terrible game... that I can't stop playing. Aww, I just made myself feel sad. No worries! I've conned several other people into depression with me! WiiCry over our WiiImage. A game for all ages: WiiFit! Self loathing has never been so much fun as a group activity.

The other day I ran errands right after work. What I've found is that service significantly improves when I'm wearing dress slacks and a tie with nice shoes. I should have just told them all "I just work at Dillards, I'm not really rich".

kidding?!

Normally I rely on myself to be the token lazy guy in the dealings of things. So it catches me off guard when I find people more lazy than me or being just as lazy as me in a higher position. It's a good reminder about how much I still need to do before I can really sit down.

pione

Two billions people have been calling my phone today. Normally I'd feel flattered that I'm so popular, but I already know that it all has to do with moving, car wrecks, and family problems. I want a spam filter on my phone...

confirtable

A woman called my department today asking if we had a particular comforter in stock, which we did, then started harping at me to set it aside for her until she got back in town. I told her why we couldn't do that but she was insistent, as if I just do things like that in spite of my manager's plans for setting up a store wide inventory. With other people trying to check out through me right then and there I've got to admit that this woman being stubbornly persistent at me over the phone for a sale which may or may not happen and even then may or may not count towards my quota, I couldn't make myself really care too much. Lesson of the day: beating stringy promises out of strangers is pretty much pointless.

traps

I've been meaning to go buy fly paper for my kitchen, which is now overrun with fruit flies, but I ended up feeling really lazy when I woke up. Instead I wasted time on the YouTubes and found a fly trap design. I spent a little over an hour reading about it and dragging stuff out and getting it to fit together, so really it didn't save time or effort at all. I hope the damn thing works.

sheesh fly

Flies have taken over my kitchen! Sheesh you'd think they were invited, the way they've moved in. I try my best to catch them all but really I look like a stupid idiot clapping excitedly alone in my apartment. The fact I have flies for company and no people means that I have to pay the utilities bill all on my own. If flies don't do one thing, they don't help pay energy bills and they do that very well.

boiled hardcore

A working environment begins to affect a person. After spending hours upon hours wondering around the vacant housewares department I found certain thoughts and preoccupations starting to root themselves in my psyche. I think that's why I cannot craving hard boiled eggs. Eggs and their hard boiled cousins get so much package picture placement its unavoidable! And all the ridiculous and over priced devices we sell that deal specifically with hard boiled eggs. I just want to eat hard boiled eggs!

free

it's nice to have a day off where the sun is shining and there's a pool outside. weeeee!

four sides

People tend to depict hell as a fiery pit of pain and agony. I have a much easier time picturing it as a huge waiting room. I just spent a good two hours in a waiting rooms today trying to get my social security stuff fixed. Let me tell you, I almost forgot the pure torture of sitting there in a waiting room while thinking to myself: "man I want to just get this all settled and have it over with... but this is taking forever! Should I just leave and come back later?!" The place had some incoherent priority listing. People of all sizes, pixels, and polygons dropped in the seats on either side of me like I was in the middle of Tetris and then were called up to the counter before me. We all had a random number between 1 and 999 and a letter, but the order in which they were called didn't seem to follow any pattern. Talk about a tedious day, it reminds me why I don't like dealing with government. It also made me want to play Tetris... someone has to help those shapes get out of there!

X.O

Being sick sucks. Especially when your sick on one of the last days before you start working! How the hell did I get this way?! Banana Panda!!@

unorder

To be honest I've never been a fan of symmetry. It's so boring and predictable! So I'm always a little annoyed when symmetry pops up somewhere, it makes things feel contrived. Fortunately the world works its wonders. The same sort of forces that insist on perfect symmetry appearing in life will just as quickly tear it down in time. Its like the whole universe keeps trying to compensate from something.

unch

I eat so much food its expensive! For the past few months I've been trying to be smarter about the money I spend, especially on food, but I find myself eating all the time! One huge meal a day is expensive, two big meals, three normal meals, five quick meals... I go through my refrigerator like Pac Man racing the ghosts down the last line of dots. I wish I could set a side small groups of food and then they could reproduce amongst themselves and then I could eat their offspring. Is that too weird?

personal archeology

My current/old roommates finally started moving their stuff out again! It's a good thing since I need to room to move my stuff in. I thought I had almost cleared out my old apartment... until I checked the closets! Deep-fried-doedicurus! That was a whole new world of stuff! Mainly just a massive stacks of small loose items, papers, and things I can't tell if I need! I feel like I'm digging up an ancient mini civilization of me being disorganized. I did find a check for $30 I hadn't cashed; grant money! I've been saying it for weeks now but I'll keep on it: tomorrow my goal is to get my stuff the hell outta that place!

lucky!

One thing I love about my new apartment is that the shower never runs out of hot water. I also like how the washer and dryer are so convenient to use! Even if sweat and impending job interviews call for it, I can do as much laundry and take as many comfortable showers as I want! I feel exhausted. This transition thing is hard work!

independence interdependence dependance

Well I've gone and started a mess. Typically I don't like being so impulsive and I don't think I've ever done anything so risky in my entire life for something so unassured, farfetched, and maybe even unimportant, but thinking back to when I made my decision I remember having a strangely strong conviction in what I decided to do. Then I carried through with it and here I am in this situation now. I'm by no means assured that anything good is going to come of this and the more I think about it the scarier it seems but in a weird way I know its the right decision. I guess this is the feeling people talk about when they describe religious experiences.

enpo

I find that I'm more comfortable being boring. My mom always tried to tell me how good looking I am, my dad always tried to tell me I'm smart, once my sister even resorted to saying that I was maybe creative. But at any one of those things I'm at best midrange average. To say anything otherwise would be wishful thinking in complete forced ignorance of my current situation. I'm not slow, not fast, not smart, patient, calm, careful, charismatic, noble, honest, athletic, or endearing. In absolutely no way am I exceptional. I'm a terrible example someone who is amazing, but I'd maybe I can be happy regardless.

gogo

Moving sucks. Especially when everyone leaves town. How am I supposed to get a couch or Grim moved now?! The bed that's in my room isn't comfortable, I want to move my bed in ASAP. Although even if someone was here to help me move, the current residents are pretty lax about getting the hell outta here. I spitefully switched all of the air vents off; I'm the only one whose home during the hot hours anyway.

Time is like a river, you'll drown if you can't swim.

On days like today, when people feel the need to show me how bad I’ve been at the whole college thing, I think of all the time I’ve wasted. If I had been where I am today four year… three years… two years… heck I’d even take one year, I might actually be proud of my prospects. But man, four years into this mess and I just now get to where I am psychologically, emotionally, and physically… it seems like a bit much. I guess the brighter side of that is that because I’ve spent the past four years where I’ve been and doing what I've done, I can feel confident in the progression I've made in the past half year. I’ve now become the person I wanted to be four years ago. That still doesn’t sound ideal, but it doesn’t sound all too bad either. I’ll take that.

now i'm on the move...

As usual, I’m in despite need of done laundry. And with the washer and dryer available in the Gateway apartments, I decided to get cracking (kraken!) I moved all my dirty laundry, consisting of about half my bedding all my clothes with the exception of some socks and my snazzy dress stuff, and one small box of books and assorted things (my TV and my Wii). On my way out I noticed my neighbor, a young woman who raises her 3 girls with her young husband and who I’ve often seen chain smoking on the walkways and in their white minivan, was outside on the phone. She asked me if I was moving and my first thought was ‘Oh crap she caught me! How do I lie out of this one?!’ That’s not healthy and I decided to concede the point. We had a short conversation of introductions. I asked her how she liked Texas from Kansas and she apologized for when her 6 year old ran by ringing my door bell over and over. It was funny to hear her talk because she sounded like her jaw was perpetually clenched. And that’s how I met my neighbor of almost six months: Casey, the taking-a-year-off-from-work elementary school teacher from Kansas. We both probably still regard each other as a little unusual.

Anticipation.

With the school semester over and summer break beginning I’m happy to start thinking about what goals I need to start thinking about (and given my situation I need to start thinking about a lot of goals). The key to a summer that will put me where I want to be come fall is not wasting this first week. Sitting down to play addictive video games or picking up an insane 15 hour sleep schedule (intermittent wit playing addictive video games)… I’ve made all those mistakes before and I’ve almost learned a lesson from it. I’d remember it better if I hadn’t just rolled out of bed to play Advance Wars: DS a second ago…

solitude.

It's always weird to walk outside late at night. Not midnight, as with the age of electricity and computers have rendered that the prior status of 'evening', but in the early morning hours. It's strangely empty, strangely quiet, and strangely foggy. I don't spend much time outside around that time but whenever I find myself there, it always creeps into my mind "there aren't many people here". From what I can tell, people angle their time to try and escape either themselves or other people. I've always been the type motivated by the urge to escape others (hence the reason I'm so lazy and useless living alone). Back in high school, waiting in front of the NAC, I'd often be out in the wee hours of the morning and that empty, quiet fog would be there. I remember something similar going to the beach before sunrise in Galveston. Those are times, when I'm outside in that majestically unoccupied space, I notice how easy it is to breathe. It makes me notice how, without even thinking about it, during my daily life, while I'm surrounded by other people, I pour so much energy into pretending I'm alone.

entitlement.

If I had to assign myself my greatest personal flaw, it would be my sense of entitlement. The assumption goes beyond me feeling like things are going to lay themselves out for me to feeling like things should lay themselves out for me. They're meant to. I'm entitled. When I was younger I thought that's what it meant to be confidant, but as I get older I think that might just be delusional and lazy.

we all pack a little light

If the internet ever did one thing, it was create a massive pool of human kind. You can find all sorts of people saying all sorts of things and strangely enough at their center you'll find religion. Defined here loosely as a set of beliefs, practices, and a compilation of ideas trusted on faith, I can't imagine a single person who doesn't have some type of religion they reference daily for guidance and confirmation. I've always seen official religions market themselves as a package deal of conviction, but take a look down a line of people identifying as being in the same faith and it's plain to see that people have affiliated themselves for entirely different reasons. This makes me think that even religion en masse remains a very personal and private thing. The things that attract people to religion are the things they put their faith in to help them get through the day. Be it a hope of salvation, a chance at redemption, a desire for order, or the justice of damnation. Despite what anyone ever tells you, a person puts faith in a few precious things to make it through the day.

unwired

Now that I"m super uber high tech awesome man on campus I have to pay careful attention to important things. Things like electrical outlets. I was thinking about how there aren't nearly enough of them in the Barnes & Noble Cafe area, when I was struck with an idea: 'wireless electricity'. I know what your saying, 'John that's just arcing bolts of lighting', yeah-yeah, whatever you big baby. Don't focus on the impending danger, lawsuits, and impracticablity of the idea! Look past all that to it's inner beauty: I would never have to look for electrical outlets again, oh the connivence! There's an old saying, reasonable solutions are only common-sense deep.

fingers.crossed

all of today has been weirdly quiet. After this crazy week I keep expecting some guy to pop up and start freaking out about something else. I dare say, now the semester is winding down. I'll enjoy my hot dogs today and start planning the Wack-A-Mole paper. I just might get up the courage to clean the bathroom. People are going to come over to watch a few Paranoia Agent episodes tonight (everyone is invited btw). I expect today to be a good day.

where the waves is?

I can't wait for school to let out. This weather is awesome pool weather. There should be a pool on campus, in the class rooms! Think of how awesome that would be! I think it would help the learning process. I would be less inclined to fall asleep if doing so lead to drowning. (-_-) I would also be less inclined to zone out if once in a while the WAVE MACHINE WOULD START! (0_0) Think of the excitement the young kids would have to THE WAVE MACHINE. They'd be so excited to be at school. I imagine we'd all cheer and go "Yay! Waves! This subject is fun! (^_^)" I propose that A&M floods the entire campus this summer, so that all the buildings are half submerged islands. Instead of those buses we could have huge boats. Viking style row boats I say! It could be just like Wind Waker, they could stick a kraken in the bottom of the MSC...
(+_+)

redrum stna

My apartment has an ant problem. I tried to get rid of them for a while but they are surprisingly resilient. They always endure. Ants eat everything! I forget to empty the trash for a couple of days and their there. I leave food on the counter for a day and their there. I left a glass of water on my desk and went downstair for food... came back 2 minutes later to find 3 ants drowning in my water! Every morning, noon, and night I take a shower, ants are crawling out of the shower head. Ants flock to the residue of my mouth wash in the bathroom sink and swarm my tooth brush. Ants line trails down my garbage disposal! Their crawling over my computer! The creepiest thing happened today, I cut my toe while managing toe nails and stumbled down the hall for a bandaid... when I got back they were eating my blood! the ants are going to consume me in my sleep I know it!

ANTS!! BLARG eNGLOFedumanu.. oup.

probably a medaphor for calculus

I'm always set to have some weird dream every 6 days or so I guess; I had another one last night. I started in some giant maze of a locker room and there was some thing that had woken up or gotten out in a distant part of the same complex (or maybe it crashed in... that part had a lot of smoke and fire). And for some reason the creature had a set of very explicit 'urban legend'esc rules: (1)if you know the name of the thing it'll hunt you down. (2)if it finds you it'll kill you 'When Animals Attack'-tiger-mauling style. (3)if you try to get away it'll track you down without fail and kill you harder. The entire dream consisted of flashing to it starting to get up and move around and me running around the complex like a moron, wondering if I should try to get away. On the one hand it was ludicrous just to sit there, but on the other hand it seemed to rank people who run away on a higher priority; and of course on a third hand (??!) within the rules I was pretty much set to die regardless of what I did. Unable to stick to a plan, I started looking for a loophole in the rules, wondering if one rule was fake which rule it would have to be. All in all I was screwed. Good thing I woke up. And the best part is that I can't remember what the creature's name was (in the dream it definitely had a name). Saved! Best.plan.ever.

you can't count on me

I'm still feeling a little under the weather. Of all the things I'm vastly successful at, being sick is not one of them. Some people are awesome at being sick, they don't even have to try; they might not even know that they're sick! They go about their daily lives as if everything were normal, and the diseases and viruses they host go with them and spread. Me? I don't excel at that sort of thing. I publicly display that I'm sick which seems to make other hesitant to get close enough for a good old fashioned disease transfer. I also tend to sleep a lot more than usual, which further hinders my contact with others. It's safe to say that while I'm sick my life is a big let down. I let down others with my subpar performance, I let down myself with a complete lack of focus, but most of all I let down the pathogens who trusted me enough to pass on their next generation. Man I suck.

Oh Possum...

I ended up going 2 for 2, it was a pretty unremarkable day but at least complaining about it was fun. Last night on the long drive back I hit a small grey animal running in circles around in the road; I would have swerved if traffic hadn't been around me. I felt really bad about it at first but the more I think about it the more annoyed I get. What in the name of all things Segnosaurus was that thing doing running in circles in the road? There's no food in the road! It's not warm or inviting! If I was a small furry creature with night vision, I would think that barren tar and asphalt would be the just about the worst environment ever! What a digital dummy.

2houston4scarecrows

Nothing says 'unnecessary vacation' quite like a day trip into Houston, just as nothing says 'I'm in Houston for a day' quite like a children's card game. The impending experience and the promo is an uplift, which is good as car rides and gas prices can be a real downer. I'm sure the alternate art has some fans but really the original holds a more clear representation. In the mean time I guess I better put clothe on and contemplate color choices instead of just thinking about how goofy the online experience is going to be in 3 weeks, giver or take. Wish me luck (or else).

cant.wash.away.the sin

A little more than a week left of school. All of my precariously positioned classes are wrapping up, so I really can’t act too indifferent towards the assignments. Introduction to Computer Science’s last report is a fresh take on an old degrading history. One last paper, it's based on a class lecture given by representative of Valero and it has to summarize itself in an ending with a personalized opinion. This assignment can be most tactfully summarized as an obligatory blowjob to the oil giant. The presentation was breezed through and contained three or four presenters with no contact information given, even the stories and accounts given (that were on topic and might be relevant) were dumbed down to the effect of a cheap commercial and always ended with ‘we waved money around… and paid people to do ridiculous things overnight’. Get the mind frame a Duracell battery commercial and read on...

Valero, when our power blinks out, we spend 8 million dollars to rent the largest cargo plane in the world (out of Russia) to fly a generator (that could power a small city) into Fort Worth Texas overnight. Why? Because Valero makes more than 8 million dollars every day... on weekends... during a recession. Velero, you'd be surprised how causally spending massive amounts of inconsequential money can run a business...

At this point I've conceded that any valuable information on the field of computer science won't come from any (of the several) oil company presentations comprising the core of this class. I’d like to just power through it, have it over with, and move on to other classes. The work I get assigned from this one makes me feel... dirty.

Dear Dr

Dear Dr. Elsa A. Murano,
How about those ____(adjective, positive) Aggies participating in ___(noun, sport)! That ____(was/is/will be, choose one) something!! Now that we've established a repoir of close friendship, I would like you to come to me for advice. I know you must wonder about it every day, 'how can I strive to bring A&M University into a gloriously guilded age of awesome?' Well my dear, trusted friend, I have but one gift of knowledge: SSC.

...

(please regard you mail closely for part II of this letter)

at night

Sunglasses are pretty much the coolest thing ever, prescription sunglasses are the only thing cooler. I've never worn them much but since I got a pair a few days ago I hate going outside without them. The outside world really is too damn bright. Not only that but prescription sunglasses can be very revealing in the social arena. Other people, obviously taken back by how comfortable I look, keep making me take them off. I guess the miserable love company.

this stuff coagulates if you dump it in the sink

I'll never understand the people who go to the Rec center during insane busy times and then walk around the 4 lane running track in a horizontal line with their friends. who does that?! seriously! There are four lanes clearly labeled for the enjoyment of everyone: 4 lanes equal 4 speeds, inside to out is walk, jog, run, sprint. This changes a little, if there are a lot of people running and jogging for example, then faster runners move to the sprint lane... reguardless though, there is no good reason to walk in wall formation! OMG iTOTALLY goteh new shoes t o t cute sughud hup2me lol I KNOW dmb ppr stpidich yol43pple ttyl.
I imagine their conversation goes something like that.

those crazy canadians

I've been feeling dehydrated lately. That's no good so I've decided to drink more water; however, my college station water is 99.9% liquid mercury and my water filtering container is dirty. I threw my contraption in the dishwasher and sought to refill the filter... only to realize I'm out of filters. There are no more filters left in my apartment! Not even one! This leaves me in a pickle... now it's absolutely impossible for me to drink clean, delicious, refreshing water ever again. There's absolutely nothing I can do to rectify this problem, there are no easy answers and now I'm forced to make a difficult decision: which nearby neighbor should I attack with hopes of a successful aqua-coupe?

hmm... I'll probably end up killing hostages to maintain an example... so I'll need lots of spares...

should I feel comforted or unsettled?

Dan Savage's mother apparently died on Monday. Never met her, saw her, heard what she sounds like, and I can't say exactly what kind of person she was. Everything I ever heard of her was from Dan, in his book, podcasts, or column. Although it's only a distant secondary account that I know of her, I have to say I'm a little genuinely sad. That probably says something about how people can draw strange connections to each-other.

please don't leave litter lying around

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was driving somewhere with my dad... then I realized all the boxes of my stuff were empty... he got mad... yada yada yada dad called some crazy guy on the side of the road fat, and so then the guy started picking up sharp things covered in meat and running up, throwing them through my open window.
I think it's a valuable lesson to be more thoughtful to crazy people who are sensitive about their weight.
or a metaphor of Calculus...

i need foreign aid

­I am so far behind on laundry it’s not even funny! (Unless you have a really sick sense of humor… sicko) I’ve been picking up shirts off the floor and evaluating them on the ‘is this clean…ish’ scale and wearing those; a few days ago though I made a bad decision and choose the shirt I wore when I got my hair cut last week. It was itchy! This kind of tragedy tends to plague my daily life.